siraranisamused: ClassyAran (Default)
[personal profile] siraranisamused
So it was while I was playing Fire Emblem Awakening that I made a startling and unforgivable discovery. There are many things that I wish were for the better in this game, some stuff brought to the next game, others dropped or reworked. But there is one problem that, if not treated, might just be a deal breaker to the next Fire Emblem.

I speak, of course, of a disturbing lack of allies with magnificent facial hair.
For reference, I have gone through all 13 games, and tallied up all the playable characters who have facial hair. NPCs and enemies are not counted; after all, there's no lack of scraggy beards or whispy moustaches amongst the enemies. But facial hair has been vilified in media enough; only the noble men of character will be counted.

Fire Emblem

Hardin, Boah, Lawrence, and Gatoh
Total: 4

Fire Emblem Gaiden

Maisen and Norma
Total: 2

Fire Emblem: Mystery of the Emblem

Hardin, Boah, and Lawrence (Gatoh reduced to NPC role) (Book 1)
Total: 3

Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War

Oifey and Hannibal (2nd Generation)
Total: 2

Fire Emblem: Thracia 776

Dagda, Xavier, and Conomore
Total: 3

Fire Emblem: Sword of Seals

Marcus, Merlinus, Ashtol, Bartre, Douglas, Dayan, and Yodel
Total: 7

Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword

Dorcas, Young!Marcus, Young!Merlinus, Athos
Total: 4

Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones

Gilliam, Moulder, Garcia, Olson (who was playable for one main game chapter), Gerik, Dozla, Duessel
Total: 7

Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance

Mordecai, Devdan, Ulki, Tauroneo, Bastian, Largo, Giffca
Total: 7

Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn

Nolan, Tauroneo, Nealuchi, Mordecai, Danved, Ulki, Skrimir, Oliver, Bastian, Renning, Giffca, Mufasa Caineghis
Total: 12

Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon

Frey, Hardin, Boah, Lorenz, Gatoh
Total: 5

Fire Emblem: New Mystery

Frey, Dice, Frost
Total: 3

Fire Emblem: Awakening

Total: 1

After all that, we can plainly see that the game with the fewest number of representations in the field of glorious facial hair is--well, a tie between FE3 Book 2 and FE4 Generation 1, but if we measure by the game as a whole, then the lowest number is FE13 with Basilio on his own. Heck, if we count the incredibly spoilerific bonus characters from the SpotPass, that only brings our total to 2, bringing it to a tie with FE Gaiden and FE4 as a whole.

At the very least, Basilio is badass enough to count for 3 men of magnificent facial hair (the cravat is bonus points).

If we counted Trial Maps, Creature Campaigns, and Bonus Maps in general, FE6 would increase to 9 (+Hector, +Zephiel), FE8 would increase to 8 (+Fado), FE9 would increase to 10 (+Oliver, +Bryce, +Ashnard), and FE12 would increase to 5 (+Boah, +Hardin). After all that, though, Radiant Dawn is still number one with 12 men with chin straps to full manes of facial hair.

And by that metric, I think we can see which is the best game in the series, now.
(Most stylin' facial hair still goes to FE3's Hardin and FE10's Bastian)
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